Friday, November 11, 2011

Will I ever run out of irrational thoughts?  And even though I hate the continued exchange, at the same time it was like a release for me.

(last night's text)
Me:  I'm trying to figure out a way not to hate you right now.  my head knows better, but the 3 year old is winning.

L: Don't let the 3 year old win you are a woman with multiple assets use them in creating a better feeling.  I am here I just can't see you tomorrow but I'm happy to see you monday, I have some openings

After getting that response from her I was able to put it somewhat out of my mind for a while.  But now that I've just reread and typed it I see that she is starting to push me away.  It's hidden in 'you are a woman with multiple assets use them....'.  Why wrap it that way instead of just saying it out right 'go talk to someone else'.

I'm not a 'spot' or an 'opening'.  You said the dependence was good, was ok, so now that I've taken the bait it's time to release me?

On a completely different note, and the main reason I was able to distract myself from transference hell last night was that we went and saw a medium......yes, a medium, someone who talks to the dead.  I don't even know how to describe it. She was way to accurate and provided too much detail for it not to be true, but at the same time it's not something I can wrap my head around.  Was my dad really in that room, did he really say those things?  There's no way she could have known those things, or have been so spot on with her description of my dad.  Not his physical description, but the man, and the father he was. 

I'll have to write more about it later.

1 comment:

  1. Transference hell...I like the phrase. I've been there also.