Nothing really much to say, or write, but at the same time still wanting to. I haven't exchanged any more texts with L but I am supposed to have an appointment with her tomorrow morning. Not quite sure how I feel about that or what to expect. I'm still angry with her and not trusting of her. How do you trust someone enough to tell them you don't trust them?
I keep trying to find a place where it doesn't matter so much to me, where she doesn't matter to me. How do I get there?
I can't choose how I feel, right? So I can't choose that she means so much. Can I?
So fine, I care, you matter. Now how do I not let that crush me?
And why can't I decide that she doesn't matter? Why can't I just walk away? Ahhhhh, this is the transference crap isn't it? Actually which is the transference stuff, her mattering too much or my over reaction?