I finally ran this weekend. I haven't run in over a month, probably more like 6 weeks, and boy did I feel it last night. But the weather was so nice how could I pass it up. So while running (and the occassional walking!!) I was thinking about therapy and it occurred to me that I don't think therapy will necessarily change how I feel about things. I don't think I'll necessarily not feel a particular way about something, or more 'normal', it's just that maybe I'll accept how I feel. I think I spend so much energy on hating how I feel about something that I don't actually deal with the feeling itself.
Seems so basic, and yet I've complicated it.
I have to admit that I've really enjoyed the process of potentially buying the ice cream shop. I know that 'ice cream' sounds like fun, and of course it is, but putting together a detailed plan for buying a business has been very stimulating and challenging. I'm certainly a fish-out-of-water when it comes to this stuff, but it has really challenged me to reach out to a lot of people and ask lots of questions.
One of the areas that I've been focusing on is the marketing of the shop. We're lucky in that they don't do much marketing now, in fact they don't do any, so there's plenty of opportunity for growth! We do have a name for the place, but I want to put some money in hiring a marketing/graphic person to design a logo. This logo would not only go on our signs, but I would want t-shirts/sweatshirts as well.
In talking about the marketing opportunities with L she offered up a name to me. In fact she called this person at the end of one of our sessions just to give him a heads-up. She said it was totally up to me if I wanted to us him or not, but he would be happy to have an initial conversation with me and give me some advice on next steps.
So I finally called him the other day and we had a quick conversation. He was in the middle of something so he asked me to send him an email with some more info and suggest a couple times when we could talk a little bit more. It's strange, but I got this little 'rush' knowing I was dealing with someone that L knows. Although, at the same time I just assumed it was someone that she knew more in-passing, like a distant acquaintance.
However, when he replied back to my email it was apparent that their relationship was more personel. Part of his reply stated that he was availaable for one of the times I listed, which was Wednesday afternoon. In fact, he would be in the car driving up to L's place to have Thanksgiving dinner with her and her family and he could chat as he dove. Huh? Dinner with her and her family??
For some reason that completely through me. And now, with my new found thought of not beating myself up over my feelings I have this strange desire to tell L. To confess my jealously. To which it only gets crazier.
A long time ago L confessed her school-girl-like crush on Steven Tyler. Of course I joked and teased her about this, but I find that I can no longer listen to Aerosmith!
Weird, but true.
It may be a pre-therapy Ativan kind of day tomorrow........