In addition to jealousy, why the anger? Why can I be so quick to feel angry with her? That I'm on heightened alert to beware of her 'tricking' me?
And is more helpful to 'know' it's transference and separate my feelings from her, or is it more helpful to just go with it and direct it at her?
Good questions for sure. When someone is that important, everything is heightened. The same thing happens for me, except I don't worry about being tricked. Anger and jealousy - yep.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's helpful to separate your feelings out, except in the sense that a rational part of you knows what's happening. It's therapy after all. You either need to discuss it or 'direct it at her'. Discussing it might be less painful, but I'm not expert.
Anyway, you're not the alone with feelings like this...
i don't know which is the better course of action, but either way you have to talk about it with her. just because you don't act on your anger doesn't mean you didn't feel it. it is important to discusss as i think it will help you build trust, i think.
ReplyDeleteThanks Ellen and OBD I appreciate your feedback. I can't tell if I'm living in my head too much lately or if there's a shift in my thinking. But I think for the most part I'm trying not to fight what I feel. I've spent too much of my life doing that and I'm pretty sure it's not working for me!
ReplyDeleteAgreeing that you should talk about your feelings. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteThanks JBR. This 'feelings stuff' is hard, especially without a net.
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