Thursday, October 20, 2016

Therapy hangover.  It's got to be one of the worst parts about going to therapy.  The day, or two, after.
It's a feeling, just a feeling, and thoughts.  I feel the need to get high just to be able to better articulate what happens.
It's very lonely.  And scary.  I crave to reach out to Celia.  And I feel like my thoughts and feelings will continue to spiral until I touch base with her, know she's there.
Sometimes I am able to distract myself and get my head out of therapy, but not lately.  I'm not sure if it's because I don't actually want to distract myself, or it's something else.
I'm supposed to meet up with Li on Monday.  I'm nervous about that and not sure I really want to go.
So now I sit in that familiar place, to text Celia or not?  I'm hoping writing will curtail the urge and also conjure up the words to talk about it with her on Monday.
Do I just drop her a text?  I really hate bothering her, even though she has told me that I'm not.

Sent her a text.  Damn I'm crazy