I've had a few anxiety attacks lately. My head feels light, almost unattached, my stomach churns with butterflies, and my mind can't focus.
I can't get back on track. I'm tired, I've stopped exercising, and I've shutdown from talking with people.
I'm getting sick of myself too. I know I should be thankful for all my blessings, and there are many, but somehow it's not enough.
I stare at my sleeping 5 year old and thank God for her. Many would give their right arm for a child, and I know that I would jump in front of a bus to save her, but the gratefulness does not lessen the weight for me.
My partner M has been very supportive too. We've had some good connections lately, and although we'll go to couples counseling, I feel a little less frantic about it. We definitely need help with communication, amongst other things, but still have a lot of love for each other.
Once again, appreciative, but not enough at the moment to lift me.
I really don't have time for this. I don't want life to pass by and me wasting time feeling like crap.