I probably come across as unappreciative of my relationship with L, and her support, but I'm really not. It truly means the world to me that she's so available to me. She told me yesterday that she tells me exactly what's going on in her head. She said she does that in order to mirror the behavior to me.
Our texting volley continues she answers my 'testing' question:
L: List is too long for text Tuesday we can go over it ok
Me: ok....I just keep repeating my new mantra 'L can be trusted', although I gotta tell you the 'list is too long' feels like an over-inflated brush off (sorry that probably sounds nasty, I don't think I mean it that way, feeling more like 'No, that dress doesn't make you look fat')
After sitting with that a few minutes I realize what a jerk I'm being....
Me: No need to respond to that last text, I'll put my big girl pants on and look at it the way you intended not the way I see it
L: Thank you, I intended it to be genuine and supportive, which is always truthful
Me: I know....I'll stop bugging you....just for today of course.
You don't come across as unappreciative for sure - you come across as caring a great deal about L. It's interesting how you are able to keep working on your issues like this between sessions. Seems like a good thing.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Ellen, you don't come across as unappreciative at all. What I like a great deal about therapists, is that although we often feel like we're the only ones feeling a certain way towards/with them, we are likely not. They have surely seen or worked with with folks that are similar to us. Does that make sense? I hope so.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you can work on your dynamic with her, as well as concerns inbetween sessions. I occasionally wish for that!
Thanks ladies, your support and your kind words mean a lot to me.
ReplyDeleteIt has been extremely beneficial to be able to text and talk to her between sessions. Not only do I usually get some relief at the moment that I'm struggling with something, I think there have been lots of long term benefits as well.