Why do some things bother me even though I know better? Logically I know there's no reason for me to be reacting the way I am, but I can't shake the pit-of-my-stomach feeling. I feel like for the past few days I've been trying to keep my self in-check. Trying to rationalize my way out of feeling angry, but it's still there.
It's really a silly thing, another been-there-felt-that-kind-of-crap before. I know I should bring it up with her tomorrow, but it's so silly. Why do I read such crazy things into what most people would consider a 'normal' interaction? Why do I read into it abandonment, unloved, tricked...?
In my head I keep threatening to cancel my appointment for tomorrow morning, but right now it's still just an idle threat.
Now for some happy news.....
I survived single motherhood! M's trip to Texas was tough, but she's back. Unfortunately she came home late Sunday night, it was after midnight, and I had to leave early the next morning to drive to the ice cream retailers convention. Today is my last day so I'll be home tonight, and maybe we'll get a chance to see each other tomorrow!
The conference has been awesome. There's about 100+ local owners who are here, along with some vendors. Most ice cream places are locally owned and family run, so it's been great talking to all these people about their experiences. Yesterday we toured 3 different shops in the area. It was so cool to see and share different ideas with people, what works for them, what hasn't worked. The cool part is that they are all so different, and so successful. I mean we're not going to make a $1,000,000 but we should be able to survive and live comfortably.
As the day went on, and we got to know each other and people heard my story they kept checking in to see how I was doing. Was I overwhelmed? Was I nervous? And yes, I was a bit overwhelmed, but in a good way. Just lots and lots of ideas going through my head, it made it hard to sleep. But nervous,? No I'm definitely not nervous. I think I feel a healthy level of confidence that we can make this work. It won't be easy, and it will require a lot of work and long hours, but I feel so good about it. I'm a little embarrassed to admit the passion I feel for opening an ice cream shop, but I do, and it's always been there, for over 20 years (dang, I'm old!!)