Friday, October 14, 2011

Does telling my therapist that I don't trust her, mean that I actually do trust her?

Or does it just mean that I want to trust her?

And either way, does it mean I'm screwed?

It was a hard session today and I still feel sad, I think, or maybe it's a feeling of being removed?  or maybe tired?  or shutdown?  or all of the above?

I wonder if it matters at all to L how I felt, or does she simply remove herself from it so she can figure out the why?  Like does it bother her that I told her that I don't trust her or does she not take it personally and just try and figure out where it's coming from?

I know how she's supposed to handle it, but I guess need to feel, ....hmmmmmm......, I guess I want to feel like I matter, that I'm important enough to be honest to and not just be told what she thinks I need to hear to feel better 'therapuetically'.  Like an extreme game of positive regard.  I told her today that I need to make sure she's just not 'blowing smoke'


  1. One thing it points out to me is that you are honest enough to trust her to say what you said. So, that is a good thing. She can then go from there. Knowing and understanding the difficulty you have with trust. Believe you me, trust takes TIME!! Do not worry about feeling this way. I too had to build up my trust with my t. They are aware of our trust factors. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Thanks JBR. This therapy crap is exhausting and confusing.