It was a wasted session, and I so hate that. It's strange, as I was driving to my session last Friday I had a feeling that the session wouldn't be a good one, and it wasn't. But today I didn't have that same feeling. I was a bit worried that we'd end up only talking about the conference I was at, and that's exactly what happened, but it took up our entire 90 minute session.
I'm a little ticked at her because after last Friday I did send her a text asking '....and can we talk more about the crazy-thoughts-that-live-in-my-head-too-much crap? I need the outlet.....I think' So I assumed that I sent out a strong enough hint that the ball was in her court.
And of course I know I'm an adult(sort of), and it's up to me to ask for what I need, but that's what I was doing with my text, damn it.
During the session I was really ok with talking about the conference and how awesome it was, but at the same time I also kept myself in check. I needed to talk about other, deeper, harder things, so I really couldn't, or maybe wouldn't express my excitement over this new business venture. It's like I kept downplaying it and hoping that she would try and pry out of me the 'crazy-thoughts-that-live-in-my-head', but she never really did. She did ask at the end 'was there anything else I'd like to discuss', but of course I said no.
We also have couples counseling with her tomorrow night, and that still continues to be a tough one for me.
I know I should be in such a better mood, but the letdown from this morning is keeping me low.