But I'm having weird, new, but sort of powerful feelings and thoughts.
I was sitting in the airport yesterday morning waiting for my flight and I was partaking in one of my favorite pastimes....people watching! It's cool to play it in the airport because you have the added mystery of where are they going? and why? And I get to add my own little mystery by being part of the pastime.....where am I going and why??
So as I scanned around gate 15 yesterday I had the strangest thought. What if everyday I woke up and looked forward to the mystery of what the day may bring for me? A bit of Carpe Diem? I've certainly had my share of crappy days, but I've also had my share of good days. Even days that make for good stories later on. Like the time I befriended an elderly millionairess at an airport.
Our flight, and all flights from Florida were cancelled and she was overwhelmed with concern for her dog who had been checked in with her bags. She did not know how to go about retrieving her dog. She had been recently widowed and her dog meant everything to her. So me and two other passengers helped this women by keeping her calm and more importantly finding her dog. She was so grateful that not only did she invite us to dinner, she also invited us to stay the night at her Floridian condo.
Of course, me, who doesn't trust a soul and has a hard time even socializing, normally would have thanked her for her offer but then quickly, and politely declined. However, this time was different. I think it had something to do with sharing a stressful event. I felt some sort of bond with these women, and also who doesn't melt at the thought of helping a widow in distress find her dog!
We still didn't have any clue, nor did it occur to any of us that this woman was very, very well off. Until of course we got to her beautiful condo, located on an amazing golf course. She then took us out for lobster dinner and we all had a great time. As we were both heading back to Boston, the next day I stayed with her the entire flight and we even shared a cab when we got home. Because we took her home first, I got to see the beautiful brownstone that she lived in right in the heart of Boston.
As I sit and wait for my plane I wonder who I'll meet on this trip.
Another totally new thought for me..iIt's ok for me to have needs. I was watching TV in my hotel room last night and these 4 women (all 'sister-wives'...but that's another story) are talking and one of the wives expresses her worry about having a specific need. I could totally relate. But the new experience for me was hearing the other sister-wives chime in and support this woman's needs. I guess God works in mysterious ways, but for the first time I actually started to consider the possibility that it's ok for me to have needs, and to get them met.
After I finished writing in my blog last night I lay in bed trying to fall asleep. But I'm not in my own home, my comfort zone, so my mind has a hard time shutting down. In my mind, my comfort zone tends to be my therapist's office, which then leads me to start thinking (again) about our recent text exchange. The one where I actually felt 'emotionally held' by her words. It then occurs to me that it's not her words that are new or different, it's me. I actually reached out to her and asked her for something. I opened myself up to the possibility. I'm not going to bring this down by contemplating what would have happened if she hadn't been there for me, but not now, not today. At least for one day.
Off to work.....I wonder what the day will bring.