Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I thought I'd share a couple of texts that L and I have exchanged over the past week. 

In case you haven't followed along before, M is me and L is my therapist.

This one is from last Friday after my session with her.  Amongst a whole bunch of other things, we were talking about loss and grief and the switch in my ruminations regarding therapy and her:

M:  I wonder if I'm scared of losing you both physically(by moving) and mentally(stopping the OCD thoughts)?  Ya, I know what you're gonna say (cause I can read minds) You're not going anywhere...blah, blah, blah.  I just wonder will I always be this weird.  Thanks for today.

She didn't respond to this, but I didn't really need her to, although of course I do like when she does.  But sometimes it just helps me to text her things so I can somehow release them. 

This exchange happened yesterday after my session and her trying to get me to talk more about my thoughts around therapy and her:

M: Assuming nothing 'big' happens in my life, can you make sure (hold my feet to the fire) that we talk (I talk) about my crazy-obsessional thoughts?  Although I may deny sending this.

A few minutes later, while thinking about this text instead of paying attention in a meeting I sent this follow-up:

M: And you have to promise that things won't get weird or you won't get weird after......I'm already weird.

L: Promise

Then later that evening, after me continuing to worry/think about it:

M: I'll probably need something in writing....notarized

L: How about written in blood.

M: If that's all you got

L: I thought pinky's swear was too wimpy

M: Good point, maybe we can spit on our hands and then shake on it.

I know many people would question or find it odd that L and I text, but it really has helped me, and I think it has helped L to help me.  My life, my thoughts, and my feelings don't happen in 50 minute increments.  It's painful for me to talk and it talks me a while to get there.  But texting has made me more comfortable with L and it allows her to better understand what's going on inside me during the week.


  1. This is a wonderful exchange between you and your therapist - I love it! And I'm really glad you've found a therapist who does text outside session - as you said, it's a great way to become more comfortable, and stay in touch with what's going on inside over the week.

  2. I wish I could therapy via email or letter. I hate verbalising things. It does not give me enough time to process stuff. Writing feelings, thoughts, emotions down makes more sense to me.

    Hence the reason I have still not gone back to therapy since APRIL. I don't want to say the words that have to be said. I want to write them.

    I wonder if I could go in with a note pad and paper and do it that way.

  3. Thanks Kerro. I think I put this out there so I can remind myself how supportive L is. I seem to forget every once in a while!

    Linda, I hear ya about the writing. Before I blogged about therapy I used to journal. But only I saw the journal (for the most part). My current T has encouraged the blogging because she wants me to get feedback from others. Makes me feel a little less weird.
    But, we don't rely on my writing for therapy, it's just a place for me to start from. And the texting is only a tool, it doesn't replace the face-to-face stuff.
    Just writing it out would be easier for me, but I have to admit I don't get the same satisfaction. I get a huge benefit when I actually muster up the courage to talk.

    Maybe you could start out slow? Write things down but then read from them?

  4. That is super that in his day and age a lot of t. are going outside of their comfort box and being a little bit more human and not ridgit in following the Code of Ethics. I am glad you have that opportunity to text with L. Making it easier on some of us than a face to face session. Safe hugs.