Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Sorry that I can't seem to complete a thought or a sentence, but too much going on in my head and I needed to get some of it out...

It wasn't enough, and I think I over-shared as well. I often (some may say 'obsessively') look back at my session, sometimes to gain an understanding, sometimes because I like being in a place where I can talk, and sometimes

The 'structure' of the session quite often repeats itself, or better said that I am a creature of habit and I'm probably pretty predictable.  W

Towards the end I remembered that I had had some dreams of the past few days that were similar.  And knowing how much L likes to interpret dreams I told her a bit about them. 

Later that night I got lost in thinking that L was the person I was having the affair with.  If it's possible that a thought could kill you, then this one almost did.  It wasn't the dream so much, but it was telling L.

You would think 90 minutes would be enough, but it's not, or at least it wasn't yesterday.  I didn't want to leave.  I told her that I would just sit quietly in the corner

My thoughts are fragmented and I want to sit with her and try and finish each of the thoughts

She tried to bring up what we talked about last session, but I wouldn't go there. 

Or do I just like playing the cat and mouse game for a while

She said she noticed that I haven't been fidgeting with my car keys for a while.  I guess that's an easy one to psychoanalyze.

Is it ok to be happy about the coincidence of where the shop will be, or should I be worried

Am I just trying to fool myself?


  1. Dear one I am sorry for your struggle. Many times and even through out my life, I always felt my thinking had been fragmented. What I would think inside my head would be so plain and clear until I tried to get it out of my mouth. Safe hugs to you

  2. Thanks JBR, you're always so supportive.