Monday, July 25, 2011

Can't decide whether or not to meet up with L tomorrow.  I sent her a text last Thursday confirming that I would like to see her this week, and I asked if Tuesday would work for her.  She never responded, and I got to thinking (ruminating??!!) that maybe I shouldn't see her during my vacation. 

I had gotten through the first couple of days post-therapy and I was doing ok.  I was starting to relax and enjoy my vacation and I'm afraid if/when I do see here that I'll be thrown back into the anxiety that I typically feel after I leave seeing her.  And it would be compounded cause she is gone on vacation next week.  And even though I'm on vacation next week too I still hate that she's leaving.

More childlike feelings, I know.

I did send her a text a couple hours ago:

Me: I'm assuming you didn't see my text the other day, I had asked about seeing you tomorrow, but I think I'll recant if that's ok.  Have a great vacation.
L:  I didn't see it but I can do tuesday morning
MeWould like to but I'm afraid that I'll feel worse afterwards (sorry if that sounds crappy).  So you'd have to promise that I won't!!

I guess my texts were a bit passive-aggressive.  I wanted to go into what was going on in my head more, but there's only so much to say in a text.

What would you do???


  1. I'd go because I have that same craving to see my T. However he would never make a special trip for me - you are lucky.
    I do know what you mean about therapy making you feel worse though....I still always want to go. Mine doesn't always make me feel worse, just a lot of the time, so there's always the hope it'll be OK this time, right?
    Your vacation sounds fab, lucky you. take care


  2. Thanks Ellen. I usually, actually 'always' want to go, but this time I'm feeling just a bit ambivilent, which is definitely not normal for me.
    But, in the end, I'm going. We are meeting at 8:00am for coffee.