Friday, February 24, 2012

After reading a fellow bloggers questions regarding being authentic, these thoughts came to mind....

If I was being my authentic self in therapy I would:

- Tell L that I am constantly struggling to maintain a connection with her.  Sometimes I google her, check out her profile picture on facebook, wonder what she's doing ....etc

- I would tell her that the only comparison I have for the 'feelings of wanting more' in therapy is like sex.  When I experience an orgasm during sex, the overwhelming feeling of satisfaction/completeness/contentedness is similar to the feeling I get when I 'get enough' in therapy.  And when I leave a session feeling like I didn't get enough, it's like having sex without reaching an orgasm.  Both of course feel nice, just not complete, and wanting more.

Good thing I don't plan on being truly authentic for a while.....


  1. great insights! i hope you will open up to her one day. these would be great topics. c.

  2. You are not alone in these thoughts! Good for you, for being brave enough to share them.

    I have felt that way with Aster lately - not being in the "loop" anymore leaves me with wanting to know "what's up". Sometimes it's a bit overwhelming.

    The feeling of wanting more is so often there with Daisy - I want to go more often, I want to talk more and I want to listen to more. And like you, it doesn't feel complete. I agree that it feels similar to sex in that way - although it's been a long while for me, so cannot be certain ;0)

  3. Interesting comparisons there! I'm sure you could indeed say it in therapy, maybe even as a bit of a joke!

    Why hide your authentic self? Because you will be rejected? That someone will see who you truly are and find it gross or wrong somehow?

    Think about that, really look at it for what it is. I have felt like my inner self is just a child, simple and vulnerable and wanting love. How and why would someone reject that part of me? Only a jerk would do that. Someone like that, I would not keep in my life.

    Better to be myself and let them reveal themselves then to have to wonder...

  4. I have I told you guys how awesome and supportive you are??!!! Maybe one of you could go to my next session and share these thoughts with her?? Like Cyrano De Bergerac!!!

  5. *raises hand* pick me, pick me!! Do I get ice cream afterwards? If the answer is yes, I'm on my way!

  6. Of course you get ice cream. Sometimes before, during, and after!!

  7. authentic self speaking: I am so very happy that I've found your blog in this gigantic cyber universe! I check in here quite often to be sure you're doing well, and get a bit worried when you don't post after a while. I learn so much from what you write and really wish I had your courage sometimes. You speak to your therapist in ways that I wish I could. You inspire me to keep on trying to talk! Too much?!