Thursday, March 24, 2011

Am I Afraid of Feeling Better?

Is it possible it's not L who has changed, but me?  And is that change for the better and does that scare me?  I had a quick flash back to my former therapist.  The one who totally crushed me for years when she decided to stop seeing me.  Someday I'll post about that.  I sent her a letter asking for her to explain to me why she terminated me and in that letter I asked her if she was acting like a mother bird and pushing her baby bird out of the nest.  And if that was the reason, then it totally sucked and she was wrong (didn't quite word it that way).
So is L not doing certain things because she doesn't think I need them anymore?

1 comment:

  1. My therapist brought up the same imagery - about the mother bird pushing the baby bird out of the nest. She said that she was pushing me out because she believed I was ready to fly, even though I strongly disagreed with her about that. She said that sometimes the mother bird has to push the baby out the nest because otherwise the baby will remain in the next forever.
    It hurt when she said that. I still disagree with it, but as "clients", we don't get to make the decision. The decision was all hers, and there was nothing I could do about it. That added to the complications of my abandonment fears, powerlessness and pain.