Saturday, March 12, 2011

I Hate to Post Something Joyful

I'm looking at a picture of my daugher when she was about 6 months old, in fact I'm made it the background on my laptop.  Although she's still a child, not quite 5 yet, for some reason this picture of her sleeping, and arms behind her head, looking so peaceful and content has just filled me with joy this morning.  Through all the ups and downs and the angst-like feelings that I still walk around with, my daughter can bring such joy......oh, and let's not forget frustration too!

Adapting to a baby was EXTREMELY difficult for me.  Thank goodness my partner (M) was there.  I know I never would have made it if she wasn't there.  And I know a pretty good portion of my struggles was hormonal, can you say post partum depression?  At the beginning , well not quite the beginning, but after finally getting through the first 6 - 9 months, I used to tell people that it's still 80% work for me, but the 20% of pure joy provides a good balance.  But now, nearly 5 years later, the percentages have shifted.  It's more like 50-50.  For the most part she is a joy to be around, except of course when it's bedtime and she's tired!  She's funny, thoughtful, sweet, and so much more.

Hmmm, maybe I'm writing this to acknowledge how lucky I am, or atleast how blessed I am.  Like everyone else, my life can really suck at times.  The depression can take hold of me and really own me for days.  So when I do have times of being filled by joy just by looking at my daughter I want to mark it, and hold on to it......atleast until it's her bedtime!


  1. So glad that you have this relationship with your daughter and that despite the hardships and struggle that she brings you joy :)