Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Push vs Pull

So will this always be here?  Will there always be a push-pull?  Will I always feel like a moth-to-a-flame?  The craving is so overwhelming, but then my gut tells me to stay away.

It's Wednesday morning, T-day, and I want it to be intense and I want to tell her to f&$*-off at the same time. 

I wish I could just decide, once-and-for-all how I want to be.


  1. It doesn't last forever. Or at least, my experience has been that the intensity does change over time - it gets easier. After it gets harder. ;)

    Would it help to work with parts? I know for me that referring to the different impulses as different parts of me needing different things helped because we could give both parts a voice and space to talk about what they needed, what they were saying, which meant I wasn't stuck in the middle of this impossible dilemma.

  2. Thanks SS. I agree that intensity has changed, thank goodness! But it's still frustrating. I wish I could just decide once-and-for-all am I going to push or pull!
    I just read Brene Brown's ( 'Cool, The Emotional Straightjacket' and I think basically that's my problem. I want to 'pull' but the vulnerability of it all keeps me pushing.