Thursday, July 28, 2016

I of course know better, but I keep hoping she would check in with me.  Didn't feel great leaving the therapy bubble yesterday.  Of course she won't, but a girl can hope, right?
Really wanted to talk about a hug, but there was only 10 minutes left and it wouldn't have been fair.

But not just 'fairness' but 'fearness' kept me away from it to.  I wanted to leave with a hug but I'm 99% sure that she wouldn't have given me one.  I'm also 99.9% sure it would have felt uncomfortable even if we did.

It's possible that she reads this.  She has the site address.  Do I want her to read it?  Maybe.  Although it would probably be as uncomfortable knowing she read it as it would be getting that hug.

I didn't leave feeling great, or connected, and now we're both off on vacation.  And although we'll Skype for a short session next week I won't see her for a week and a half. The intensity will probably wear off by then.

I teeter between sending her a text message, not to discuss it but to blurt some crap out to get it out of my head, knowing we can discuss it on our Skype on Tuesday.  Hmmmm, maybe Skype would be safer, although a bit awkward, but then there would be no chance for an awkward hug.

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