I just want to sit and stare. Take it all in. What are my takeaways? Are these thing she talks about even possible? And does she really mean it when she says she has my back? Is it contrived? Just doing my job ma'am.  How do I actually ask her for what I want? These things are embarrassing. How can you aak someone to care about you? for you?

How can I be sure that I won't break her? That my needs and wants are gonna be too much?
I wanna know that you think of me when I'm not here.