Monday, April 18, 2011

Writer's Block??

I've been trying to write about the riff that my t and I had over reading my journal.  It's kind of a long story as there was a parrallel event going on as well.  Unfortunately I'm having trouble writing it.....or is it that I'm having trouble telling it?  Hmmmm.  Not sure.

I think part of the reason I'm having trouble is that I'm having performance anxiety.  Actually I'm not sure if that quite describes it.  You see L did read my blog, the whole thing, and last week she kept saying that I'm a really good writer and she sees writing in my future.  I definitely enjoy writing, but I don't think I have any really knack for it.  Or maybe I do think I have a knack for it, but I've never thought anyone outside my own head would have thought that. 

Now I find myself analyzing every word I type, which I think curbs my style....assuming I actually have a style. 

So the story of L reading my blog sits unfinished.  It was too much work to write.  This morning I had a thought, maybe I just need to write something easier to get me started.  So this is my shot at it.


  1. Oh this feels so difficult; the encouragement made you more anxious about performing?

  2. Yes, the encouragement seems to have made me anxious. It's like I now have these thoughts in the back of my head while I'm writing. I think I'll keep trying to write little snippets for now.
    I think the other reason maybe that because of the riff I'm a little skiddish about posting again. She said she won't read it again unless I ask, and I do believe her, I think.

  3. That's good, I'm glad that you feel you can trust her not to read. It makes a HUGE difference (and I hope it takes away at least some of the anxiety!)

    At the end of the day, you are writing for you - it doesn't have to be 'good' or to fit any particular set of criteria. If after you've written what you need to write you find it IS good, well that is just a bonus.

  4. I have 2 therapists in my life - although I don't work with both of them. Daisy knows about my everyday blog and Aster knows about my therapy blog. Each of them do not read it (and I wouldn't mind if they did). I kind of wish mine were more likes yours was - if they read them, they'd understand a bit more of who I was.

    It took great courage to send L over here.

  5. I didn't realize that I've known you for over two years - no wonder it feels as though we're walking a similar path :)

    I occasionally write as if I know they're reading my blog (as both Aster and Daisy know the address), but then there are times that I completely forget that they know.

    I don't know what brought me back to this post - but I had to leave a comment regardless!!

  6. 2 years??!!!!! It seems longer!!!!

    Just kidding. But please know that I am very thankful for our 'relationship'. There have been many times that I've blogged in hopes that you would read it.