Sunday, October 28, 2012

Sitting at the shop missing L right now. Which really is nothing unusual, but it's still frustrating. I just don't understand it. I see her at least once a week, sometimes twice, I can call or text her as much as I like, which I don't, but still the craving continues.


I told her last week it's some sort of fear, at least that's what it feels like, both physically and mentally. I'm not quite sure what I'm afraid of, and she is always reassuring me that she's not going anywhere, but still the fear persists.

I can feel it in my stomach, my shoulders, and in my throat.

Why? Or better yet, how do I make it go away?


  1. Hi Normal - I'm glad to see you around these parts again!

    I admit that I have felt and still occasionally feel just as you do - and also don't know the reason. I suppose it is in wanting to soak up all of her care, but also because she really is a good person to talk to. I truly enjoy her company, and could spend more time in that office, than what's "normal".

    I am not convinced you should make it go away, but instead that you should work through it and it may fade on its own. May I ask ... why do you not want to feel it?

  2. Hi Mandy, thanks for checking in

    Good question 'why do you not want to feel it' I wish I had a good answer. I'm going to ramble a bit...

    For some reason I'm very, very afraid of the feeling. Which doesn't make sense, it's 'just' a feeling, right? But it also takes up a lot of my thought processes, I live in my head over it.

    Like you I really want to soak up all her care, but I don't like admitting that to myself. Seems toooooooo needy.

    I did send her yet another text this morning, this was her reply:

    L: Get out of your head I am sending you support and happiness so take it and have a good day

    I think I need to give some more thought to your question. Thanks