Tuesday, November 1, 2016

I feel sort of 'ok' today.  I've been able to fend off the need to text Celia, although of course I still want to.  I want to connect with her, I want to ask her when her flight leaves, and more importantly when does she come back. We'll Facetime next week, on Monday and Wednesday and I know I'm pretty lucky to be able to.  I also wanted to ask how many clients she will be 'seeing' next week.  I want to feel special to her. But I probably won't ask her that.

We did some good work yesterday, atleast I think we did.  This morning I couldn't 'live in my head'.  Which means I was able to talk with her, but I still miss the comfort of living in my head. I'm gonna get high later which will help me escape for a bit.

I was even able to tell her about being angry with her the other day.  Not used to telling somebody that, especially when logically I don't really have a valid reason to be mad.  But maybe I'll be able to share more uncomfortable, non-logical feelings/thoughts with her.  Maybe it will help with the attachment and obsessive thoughts.  Maybe there's hope yet?

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